Sounds Moor Than Fair, to a fish

Hovering here in mid-leap, as though frozen in space, I have watched the changing face of Broads boating with interest. In days of yore, there would be 20 - nay 30 - hire boats in the visitor basin almost every night throughout the season. In fact, when Peter Waller stood on the same spot 40 years ago selling his ice cream by the wherry-load, there were often as many as 300 boats here at any one time, moored across the river and right over the marshes to Carlton Colville.

But I digress.

Now that the Dark Lord has taken (almost) the last remaining hire boats 'up north', there are few hardy souls who dare brave the mighty Breydon and venture this far south - and it is mostly the owners of private craft who loiter here under my watchful gaze, pausing only to feign shock at the mooring charges before racing back to their familiar berth before dark.

But no more! For the evil ones have listened! No longer will I hear the familiar refrain of "9 quid it's bleedin' daylight robbery and you don't even get a tank of water, innnit". My sources tell me that there is a new Visitor Mooring Membership Scheme which you can join and this will let you moor as often as you like for nothing! It's only 75 human pounds a year which to my fish-like ears sounds like the utter bargain of the century. And to top it off my friends in the Waveney Inn are giving members 10% off their meal ticket Monday-Thursday.

I'm pretty sure I must be missing something here because it all sounds too good to be true. Maybe I have water in my ears?